Rant the Second

Here is my thing about blogs, and, well, me. I have a number of obsessions. Blogs are not part of it, but they do help me exemplify some of these obsessions. The biggest one of them being order.

ORDER!

I could blame my dad for this, as he is a total neat freak, but I don't think my dad obsesses as much as I do on the contents of his drawers or closet (also, dad, I was trying to arrange my clothes by color at the age of, what, 8 and you were later surprised by my coming out of the closet?). If I wanted to get all psychological about it I could say that achieving order in those simple things made me feel better about NOT achieving order in other, more important things, but I'm getting off-topic here.

How this affects my relationship with blogs is simple, I want order in them. I DEMAND order in them. I want to know what they are about and how they go being about whatever they are about. I want cohesion, clarity, a topic, an idea that ties everything together, and no funny business about it.

My problem then is that my mind and mood wander so much this cohesion is pretty much on the grounds of "I wrote this stuff" (see exhibit A: my LJ). And what I write can go from Squall x Irvine fluff to really vague love confessions to... erm... more stuff. Also, my LJ did have some "I like this stuff" sprinkled on it.

My second obsession is being liked by everyone. Which in internet is sort of like wanting to come alive out of a forest filled with lions, bears, tigers, wolves, jaguars, badgers, and killer ants. Yes, it would be nice if it happened, but odds are not on your favor. At all. Also, the forest's floor is covered in poison ivy and there's venomous spiders everywhere.

Third and last obsession (I will be sharing with you, at least) is my online persona. I will admit to you people that I want one. But I haven't decided on one, so there's several. There's the quirky one. The woe-is-me one. The bitch. The pseudo-intellectual. And others. And they mix from time to time. It's a work in progress, people.

The point to this rant (and there is one, somewhere, I swear) is that this year I am trying to just quit the whole "I will plan this out better and then do it" thing and instead do things. Writing is one those things and blogging will be part of it. I do not know why I WANT to be a blogger but, apparently, I do. Bear with me people, things might get interesting.