He's a Very Nice Prince

[CINDERELLA]
He's a very nice Prince.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
And-?

[CINDERELLA]
And-
It's a very nice ball.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
And-?

[CINDERELLA]
And-
When I entered they trumpeted.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
And-?
The Prince-?

[CINDERELLA]
Oh, the Prince...

[BAKER'S WIFE]
Yes, the Prince!

[CINDERELLA]
Well, he's tall.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
Is that all?

We all have ideals. Concepts in our heads that are perfect and next to which we compare everything that happens in our lives. "Prince Charming" is to every princess the concept next to which every guy will be compared.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
Did you dance?
Is he charming?
They say that he's charming.

[CINDERELLA]
We did nothing but dance.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
Yes-? And-?

[CINDERELLA]
And it made a nice change.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
No, the Prince!

[CINDERELLA]
Oh, the Prince...

[BAKER'S WIFE]
Yes, the Prince.

[CINDERELLA]
He has charm for a Prince, I guess...

[BAKER'S WIFE]
guess?

[CINDERELLA]
I don't meet a wide range.

It's an idea that has gotten quite the bit of critique lately. It has become a sort of fashion to blame fairy tales (and specifically, Walt Disney Animation Studios) for raising the expectations of gullible girls and gay boys to such levels that most males would rather just not try at all rather than spend a lifetime building the body of a Greek god while simultaneously becoming the ultimate genius renaissance man.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
Did he bow?
Was he cold and polite?

[CINDERELLA]
And it's all very strange.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
Did he speak? Did he flirt?
Could you tell right away he was royalty?
Is he sensitive,
Clever,
Well-mannered,
Considerate,
Passionate,
Charming,
As kind as he's handsome,
As wise as he's rich,
Is he everything you've ever wanted?

But so much of what the Prince Charming ideal is includes what we want it to include. It's like Cinderella and everyone thinking that she wants to marry the Prince in the first place. She doesn't, all that she wants is to go to the ball. It's us that want her to marry the prince, because we feel she deserves it.

[CINDERELLA]
But how can you know what you want
Till you get what you want
And you see if you like it?

As far as my Prince Charming is concerned, he is beyond perfect. He's an ideal I've worked on ever since I started storytelling to myself and I pretty much started doing that when I was able to form coherent sentences. It's evolved in such a way that it isn't one ideal, but several, each fitting a specific moment or mood. Some of them only existed for a specific chapter in my life. Some of them borrow heavily from real people and others from characters in books and movies. What all of them have in common is that they all know exactly what I need.

[BAKER'S WIFE]
Would I know?

[CINDERELLA]
All I know is-

[BAKER'S WIFE]
I never wish-

[CINDERELLA]
What I want most of all-

[BAKER'S WIFE]
Just within reason.

[CINDERELLA]
Is to know what I want.

How can I make sense of a guy that is, in fact, many guys? How can I have ideals that contradict one another? How can my needs be so different from one moment to the next that I can't come up with a character that can cope with them without becoming more than one character? How can I enter a relationship with a real person when I can't trust myself to keep my ideas from one moment to the next?

[BAKER'S WIFE]
When you know you can't have what you want,
Where's the profit in wishing?

Whenever someone tells me to get over my Prince Charming ideal and "give a guy a chance" I feel as if I'm being asked to lower my standards at the same time I'm disrespecting whoever I'm giving said chance to.

[BOTH]
He's a very nice Prince...

I don't feel that ignoring what and who my Prince Charming is in favor of whatever guy is around will do me any good, really. My Prince Charming could be a very clear image of what I want, and to turn my back on him would be to ignore what I feel I need. My Prince Charming, after all, is also an extension of me and not a fantasy waiting to come to life. He is part what I expect of others and part what I expect of me in the context of a relationship.

You have to look behind the fairy tale to understand it. Under the fantasy there is a hidden truth, and in order to find it you need to submerge yourself in it.

Lyrics from Into the Woods